27. THE DEFENSE PROGRAM

Mower was so overwhelmed at obtaining a seat at the high table, albeit, he was informed,  only on a temporary basis, he failed to observe the departure of Kai Diamonde. He hadn’t realised how much he now needed him. He had been told some crazy shit and as they had gone deeper into the creek, Glen felt he’d lost his paddle. Suddenly, the cold ambience of the place took a hold and made him again shudder.

‘Welcome to our world, Glen Mower,’ Professor Delphi announced, nodding or smiling to the other seven men and women who along with him and Glen shared the table. ‘You’ve probably only seen operations like this before from the safety of a cinema seat. But, this is for real and it’s vital.’

‘Well I don’t…’ Glen responded before being deleted like an outtake and left on the cutting room floor.

‘Before we tell you what you’re doing here,’ Delphi went on, ‘and you start preparing for your role, might I suggest you just watch a session in action to get a better feel of what you’ll be undertaking. You are already conversant with the scare regarding Sir Issac Newton,’ Mower nodded in the affirmative. ‘Well, this is the business end at work.’

Pamela Auora, a woman of about forty was introduced to the meeting as the Head of Civil Defense. She stood up which accentuated her pear shaped figure. She looked drab though proficient in her grey uniform with a yellow badge on which her role and credentials were listed. All with the American spellings, although deployed in the front line in England.

‘I would like to inform the Council of War about the precautions we have taken to prepare for the possibility that Newton might be letting us down with a large bang on the biz with gravity,’ she said in a very gentile and posh English accent.

‘We are all ears,’ Professor Delphi encouraged her with a warm smile.

‘Of course, in all instances we have not sought to cause undue alarm to the general public,’ she informed the bigwigs. They nodded in response as if to acknowledge that that was a given. ‘First, we have contacted several branches of weightwatchers and advised them that it might be an idea to concentrate upon the observance of something else instead.’ The suggestion seemed to be met with approval, except by General Wilmington who huffed and twitched audibly and with a degree of menace, which appeared to slightly disconcert Pamela Auora although not enough to curtail her report.

‘We have also been in touch with the organisers of the next two summer Olympic Games,’ she continued, ‘to advise them that they needn’t incorporate a landing pit for the Long Jump in their Athletics stadia plans.’

‘Goddam it,’ General Colman P Wilington III hollered, rising to his feet and smashing his granite fist simultaneously against the table. ‘Just launch the goddam holograms and to Hell with all this anal play.’

‘Holograms are the last resort,’ said a young woman in t shirt and jeans sporting a CHD badge that Mower was to discover stood for Campaign for Hologram Disarmament. ‘It’s a short term solution with possible long term consequences.’ The two combatants eyeballed each other over the battlefield of the table before Professor Delphi as head poncho organised an armistice.

‘Mrs Auora pray carry on with your report on precautionary measures, Delphi ordered.

‘I have contacted an English football club,’ she continued.

‘Soccer!’ interrupted the General.

‘No, that will not be appropriate,’ the Professor was quick to reestablish control as he admonished his colleague. ‘We do not resort to the encouragement of acts of violence around this table.’

‘I have informed Halifax Town FC that it might prove beneficial in the near future to position their ball boys outside the stadium as well as inside it. Maybe some a good half a mile down the road. But in response, they said that they had reluctantly had to do that anyway since purchasing their new striker, Todd Berrings, from Doncaster Rovers Reserves six weeks ago.’

‘All well and good,’ Professor Delphi declared. ‘Now, young Mower, I dare say you would like to know why you alone, were chosen amongst  the billions of people on this planet to save it.’