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Let it not be said that Route 1066 only caters for the mega rich as we have teamed up with Historical Garments Ltd of Milton Keynes and Authentic Weaponry Plc of Rhode Island to offer you the unique and more affordable chance to participate in Britain’s bloodiest ever battle, that which took place at Towton in North Yorkshire on Palm Sunday, 29 March, 1461 involving nearly 60,000 fighting men. It is estimated that 28,000 soldiers lost their lives and that local rivers ran red with their blood for days afterwards.
We are looking for two hundred of you to participate in this violent skirmish that took place between the Lancastrians and the outnumbered Yorkists which seen the latter triumph against the odds which resulted in Henry VI being deposed as King by Edward IV. Just imagine being there and having played a part (if you are on the Yorkist’s side) in Edward’s victory and seeing him assume the crown.
There are two knockdown prices available (and we are referring to the cost of your time-travel package and not the likelihood that you won’t be upright in the battle for too long). Make enquiries at Route 1066 for current pricing but we can tell you that for half the price, yes that is HALF the PRICE of fighting on the Yorkist side you can fight for the Lancastrian cause. Take advantage of these fabulous discounts NOW. The disparity in the prices reflect the fact that fighting for the House of Lancaster in this most brutal of Wars of the Roses encounters is more likely to see you get killed and it’s only fair that our pricing reflects this, although casualties were also high on the Yorkist side.
Baron Von Snider Chairperson of The European Nostalgia Society had this to say about our exciting offer:
‘Do you know anyone who takes part in battle reenactments? Then this will be ideal for them. No more play fighting. This is the real thing. A chance to scrap for their lives in the bloodiest ever battle on English soil. Surprise them with the gift of this for a present. They will thank you for it.’
The two hundred available slots will be given out on a first come first served basis. We anticipate there will be tremendous interest in this offer so we advise you to act early to secure your place. So as to even out the two hundred new combatants to prevent a side gaining more of an advantage which might then change the course of history, there are exactly one hundred places available on the Lancastrian side and one hundred with the House of York.
Time Travel has never been so cheap or quite so daring. Surprise the one you love with the gift of being a participant in Britain’s bloodiest battle. Similarly, those considering paying out for an assisted suicide, think again.
Once you are accepted you will be provided with authentic fifteenth century English costumes and *weaponry kindly supplied by our sponsors in this venture and taken, via our portal into the past, to Towton, Yorkshire, England in 1461. After the battle you will be returned home, hopefully in one piece, the maximum we will return you in will be five pieces. You need to know that your chances of surviving The Battle of Towton alive are one in two, but as a nice touch, for those of you who perish there we will send a loved one of your choice a dozen red or white roses dependant upon whose side you died fighting for.
It’s touches like this that set us apart from other travel companies. And we are the world’s only time-travel specialists. Our critics will say we can only offer it cheaper because more than half of you won’t be making the return journey, but we say to our critics, sign up for the Towton experience yourselves and judge us then.
The usual Time-Travel insurance is not available for this adventure.
Jonty Morgan Humourist 