15. LIFE WITHOUT….

Glen Mower was escorted to an ante-room off the library leading to an oak-panneled locked door. Further security to protect what was contained behind it was provided by an armed guard dressed from head to toe in black but wearing a wide cream Brabazon armband. Over the solid left shoulder of the sentry was the name plaque of the publishers, Past Words. Glen was allowed to progress no further which he actually welcomed as an ominous air descended like a choking polution cloud. Instead he was invited by the librarian who had followed the two men along with one of the security personnel to ensconce himself on the ante-room black leather sofa and have a quick perusal of a selection of books Past Words had published.

The focus of Glen Mower’s curiosity became the pile of bound literature between basic cream coloured covers to his left nestled against the arm of the sofa. He grabbed a few and deposited them in his lap. They were all from a series called ‘Life Without…’ by published historians and focused upon how the expert author saw how the world would be had a particular figure from history not existed in the role with which we are familiar.

He started reading ‘Life Without King Arthur by Professor Simone Webber’ and discovered that without him the swords of subsequent Kings would remain firmly embedded in a large stone so subjects would avoid achieving things or accomplishing heroic deeds for fear of their shoulders being crushed by a huge boulder attached to a sword during the knighthood ceremony. Furthermore, as Excalibur, Arthur’s sword, was rumoured to have killed 940 Saxon warriors, it qualified it as a weapon of Mass Destruction. It was acquired from a lake. Thus, without Arthur it was speculated that Britain’s lakes would be associated with untapped weapons arsenals, thus, in Professor Webber’s work, when photographic evidence initially appeared of the Loch Ness Monster in 1933, which first brought this beast to public attention, immediate thoughts would have been engulfed by the overwhelming concern that it might also be armed with a Beretta AS90 machine gun too.

Next up was Life Without Guy Fawkes by Alexander Sandford whom Kai Diamonde informed him was another patient at Brabazon Lodge having been De-Fawkesed and as a result of that now kept sitting atop bonfires as they were about to be lit having now never heard of the Guy specifically assigned by historic tradition to this onerous task. From the book itself Glen learned that ‘Penny for the Guy’ where children in the lead up to Bonfire Night on November 5th created an effigy of the Catholic traitor as a means to collect donations from pedestrians in the street would no longer exist without Guy Fawkes which would instead mean they were no longer restricted and could thus choose anyone with a reputation as a basis for their effigy and also not be limited to demanding just a penny. For this reason famous people would be afraid to venture out around that time each year, not necessarily for fear of being placed on a bonfire but because it could prove somewhat disheartening if they discovered that their effigy was earning more than they were.

Finally in Life Without Shakespeare by Merle Turren-Beak it was observed that there would obviously be no Henry VI Part One, Two or Three. Which would add further verification to the official autopsy on Henry VI conducted in 1471 which clearly indicated that he only came in one part.