25. GUY FAWKES: Let’s Whet Your Appetite.

1570

On 13 April Guy Fawkes is born in York. His parents complain about the midwife’s lack of enthusiasm for their new arrival: ‘It was just another brat,’ she retorts. ‘No need for all the bloody fireworks.’

1574

Young Guy Fawkes is warned to keep away from bonfires.

1577

Guy is surly and unfriendly on his first day at St.Peter’s School. So the headmaster gives him a rocket.

1578

Jewellery thieves bring their haul to Guy Fawkes as he is an expert on sparklers.

1591-98

Guy sells the estate he inherits from his father and travels on the continent as a Catholic mercenary. He complains about the French King Henry IV who responds with: ‘Guy Fawkes, what does he know about sitting in a hotseat?’

1602

Guy changes his name to Guido Fawkes by Deed Poll. But then shortens it further to Guido Fawkes.

1604

Guido Fawkes returns to England and becomes involved with a group of Catholics, led by Robert Catesby, who plan to assassinate the new Protestant King James I.

1605

By July 20th the conspirators have placed 36 barrels of gunpowder in a room under Parliament.

On July 28th the threat of plague delays Parliament’s opening, in the King’s presence, until November 5th. Fawkes and his Catholic rebels worry because the Sell By Date for the gunpowder is August 20th, so they contemplate returning it for a refund before it goes off.

On October 26th, the Catholic Lord Monteagle receives a letter warning him in couched language to ‘staye away from Parliemente, staye on your sofa in a place of safti for they shall receive a terrible blowe’ (the couched bit was the reference to the sofa).

Parliament is searched early on November 5th and Guy Fawkes is discovered with the gunpowder. Fawkes reveals his true identity on the rack, wishing he hadn’t left his driving licence at home as it would have been much easier.

November 8th – Fawkes gives up the names of all his fellow conspirators on the rack.

November 9th – Fawkes implicates the Pope on the rack.

1606

On 27th January Guy Fawkes’ trial begins. The judge rules that there is no evidence Guy Fawkes has been put on the rack. The jury find 13 foot 7 inch tall Guy Fawkes guilty along with his fellow conspirators he is sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. Although, on appeal it was reduced to being hung, drawn and halved.

Parliament designates each November 5th as a national day of thanksgiving, celebrated with bonfires, fireworks and an effigy of Guy Fawkes to top the fire.

It also becomes a custom for children to make Guy Fawkes effigies and charge people a penny to view it.