34. POSH ALIENS INSTEAD OF VICTORIANS

FAO Glen Mower: HOLOGRAM DEFENSE PROGRAM

When Queen Victoria ascended the throne in 1837, she opted not to be called by her first name Alexandrina, but by her second name Victoria as it held etymological links to the ancient name Boudicca meaning ‘victory’. In a world where Boudicca would not have acquired fame, then Victoria would have no doubt had a different second name which would then have defined an era. Here are some examples and the impact just one simple change of name such as Haley would have on behaviours and attitudes of an era carrying that name.

Haleyians named after Queen Haley reigned 1837-1901

Haleyians would be viewed as posh aliens. Haleyians would’ve imposed the Martian year upon us. As Mars takes twice as long to orbit the Sun compared to Earth it would mean that Scrooge would not have seemed half as bad as Christmas came around 50 percent less often.

Haleyians would differ from Victorians in their artistic pursuits. Middle-class Victorians were fond of painting, making brooches and flower arranging. Haleyians would choose to make crop circles.

The Victorians regarded Gordon of Khartoum as a hero: Haleyians would plump for Flash Gordon Saviour of The Universe.

In conquering foreign lands Victorians attempted to civilize the population, spread Christianity and encourage the locals to drink tea. Haleyians, however, would abduct them and force them to have sex and make copious notes.

Typical jobs for Victorians would be, dependent upon their class, a person of rank in the British Army, a miner or a textile worker. Haleyians would be more predisposed to becoming a saucer manufacturer.

Victorian and Haleyian men would share the same attitude to women however, as both would treat them like they came from a different planet.

Fish and chips became a staple part of the British diet under the Victorians. But if they had been Haleyians, instead, fish and chips would never have become popular as the kitchen utensils used to create this dish would have been known as Unidentified Frying Objects.