46. NAMES RELEASED FOR MISSION NIGHTINGALE: BROUGH, CAMPBELL & HOUDINI SELECTED.

Clarence Darrow

With the Boudicca scare over, confirmed when the Thorneycroft statue erected in 1902 outside Parliament in Westminster restored her two daughters to the chariot driven by their mother warrior queen, attention quickly turned to addressing the wounds caused by Florence Nightingale’s deviation from the path history had set for her. From being the Lady with the Lamp to the doyen of 19th century vehicular parking extortion known as the Lady with the Clamp.

Glen Mower took it all in again as the names were released of the holograms chosen to engage in the important mission of persuading Florence Nightingale to ditch clamping vehicles and instead revert to the course we currently know her for, that of introducing modern nursing and health reforms.

The hologram selected to engage in this vital mission is 1940’s and 50’s British Radio and TV star Peter Brough and his ventriloquist doll Archie Andrews, with Harry Houdini, the famous escapologist who died in 1926 (He didn’t get out of that one!) and the speed king Donald Campbell in reserve.

However, as the news broke there was consternation expressed in the War Rooms regarding a figure from history who was considered for the role and then jettisoned, that being the brilliant US advocate Clarence Darrow, famous for his defence of John T Scopes in the Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925.

‘How can such a brilliant lawyer, the guy who saved Scopes from the wrath of the Tennessee legislature by effectively defending the theory of evolution when that state sought to ban it from being taught in their schools, be overlooked in favour of a half baked light entertainer talking through a block of wood attached to his arm!’ Professor William Mordecai of Princeton’s prestigious History Department said via a big screen beamed into the citadel, conveying the impression the occupants were as thick as the walls protecting them. ‘There’s just no contest. This decision is sheer lunacy. The HMC really need to look at their bias towards the English. Fine, Nightingale is English and she was a bit prejudiced towards the English, but she also couldn’t abide dummies and Peter Brough was literally always within arm’s reach of a dummy! Darrow was a super intelligent guy with the advocacy skills required to persuade Nightingale to return to the path in history designated for her.’