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Out Of This World
What is and isn’t classed as running in walking football is the biggest bone of contention in the game. We play on a fairly big pitch so basic walking would be detrimental to the quality of the match. Thus I allow a certain amount of leeway, but out and out running or sprinting I pull up. When I first played walking football seven years ago some players developed very fast walks to gain an advantage that were akin to something out of the Ministery of Funny Walks made famous on Monty Python’s Flying Circus with one striker cultivating a sort of Road Runner walk with massive strides while even just a year or so ago our very own Pete Porter laid the ground by informing us, backed by videos on what constituted walking supplied by the FA, that if a player has one heel on the ground at all times no matter how fast he travels he is still walking. Then for the following weeks he literally ran on his heels in a manner reminiscent of a penguin trying to quickly reach the sea on a beach full of hot coals!
In July 2019 near the 50th anniversary of the first Moon landing I told several of my walking footballers that to commemorate this event we would play Moon Walking Football for one week. I then proceeded to enact some Moon Walking with slow giant bounding steps. This alarmed a few of them, particularly Norman Mathis who said that he couldn’t do that and his concern was echoed by mumbles of agreement from the rest. I told them not to worry as it was just a joke and I have enough difficulty getting them to play Earth Walking Football let alone the Moon Walking variety.
Jonty Morgan Humourist 