Posted by 
Anecdotes from a Walking Footballer
What is classed as running in walking football is the biggest bone of contention in the game. I allow a certain amount of leeway as we play on a fairly big pitch, but out and out running or sprinting I pull up.
When I first played walking football in 2016 some players developed very fast walks to gain an advantage that were akin to something out of Monty Python’s Flying Circus Ministery of Funny Walks. One cultivated a sort of Road Runner walk with massive strides while Pete Porter informed us, backed by FA videos, that if a player always has one heel on the ground he is still walking, no matter how fast he goes. For the following weeks he literally ran on his heels in a manner reminiscent of a penguin trying to quickly reach the sea on a beach full of hot coals!
In July 2019, near the 50th anniversary of the first Moon landing I told several of the lads that to commemorate this event we would play Moon Walking Football for one week. I then provided an example of Moon Walking by moving around with slow giant bounding steps.
This alarmed them, particularly Norman Mathis who said that he couldn’t do that and his concern was echoed by the rest. I then told them I was joking and that I have enough difficulty getting them to play bloody Earth Walking Football let alone the Moon Walking variety!
Jonny Morgan Humour Sampler 