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Advice from a Walking Footballer/Senior Player
Ladies of a certain age are rather attracted to us senior footballers, possibly because in our sixties our competition is either pushing up daisies or too infirm to pick them.
An occasion to impress with my soccer prowess arose a couple of years back when I helped reunite a lady with her lost cat. I had been feeding a stray and once I had gained his trust I took him to the vets where his microchip revealed he’d been missing for ten months.
Through the vets his owner contacted me, stifling tears and wanting to give me a reward. I said that getting her beloved feline back to his home was reward enough for me but she insisted on meeting me the following day to express her gratitude.
The Eastern European lady turned up just after my big Friday match where I had scored, incidentally, with a neat shot on the turn and upon meeting her I could tell she was impressed that I played football. I naturally assumed my scoring antics weren’t over for the day. I showed her where her cat had been before escorting her into my changing room (lounge) with its multitude of shirts and boots hanging from pegs above benches and inviting adapted sofa.
‘Of course,’ she said, smiling, ‘of course, I see, yes how to reward you.’
My heart skipped a beat.
Anyway, the outcome was she bought me a Dukla Prague football shirt.
Jonny Morgan Humour Sampler 