Posted by Advice from a Walking Footballer/Senior Player
Apart from the goal I scored, another passage of play particularly pleased me today. The ball steepled high into the air from a clearance and I heard one player deploy an expletive in his vociferous assertion that he had no intention of getting in the way of it upon its descent from the clouds. However, I positioned myself in its landing path and cushioned it with my right foot and effected a pass to a teammate all in one sublime action that drew forth an utterance of praise from Pete Hyde the opposition midfield engine-house. When asked what enabled me to execute such an impressive play I would say it is the time spent on the training ground.
In the confined environs of my garden practicing ball control is the most practical training. With keepy-uppies being my favourite. My record is 265. Whenever I mention I am good at keepy-uppies to non-football aficionados it always seems to provoke the response that at my age such a thing can only be achieved with chemical assistance.
Unfortunately, when I have the time for football training in my garden I am inevitably stopped in my tracks by neighbours wishing to conduct a conversation. Nothing wrong with that and much preferable to living alongside grumpy old gits. But I can only speculate that Maradona and Pele either lived out in the middle of nowhere or were pig ignorant towards their neighbours.
Jonty Morgan Humour Sampler 