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Anecdotes from a Walking Footballer/Senior Player
Mars Bar Derrick pre-match informed me that instead of giving every player a Mars Bar after the game he would instead present a bottle of white wine, he had secreted away, to the player we agreed was man of the match.
Unfortunately, there were no stand out performances in an inspid one all draw. And neither myself or MBD could agree on who the Man of the Match was. Another player, Welsh Dave, was consulted, but he proposed yet another name. It necessitated the enlistment of further players to the selection panel, which brought forth yet more suggestions.
By now seven of us were debating who should receive the honour producing seven different selections. The other players, oblivious to all this, were disbanding, so a decision needed to be made quickly.
I seized the initiative and asked the hastily convened panel to vote for the man they considered the game’s second best player. The name Pete Porter, who had given the white shirts the lead with a fine individual goal, received almost unanimous backing.
With the bottle of wine in hand accompanied by MBD we headed towards Pete who had been changing on the touchline. We got about halfway there when I stopped in my tracks, turned to Mars Bar Derrick and told him that we can’t do it as Pete Porter is a recovering alcoholic!
MBD ended up sharing it with his wife over that weekend.
Jonty Morgan Humour Sampler 