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Advice from a Walking Footballer
Before the pandemic players didn’t pre-book on WhatsApp as occurs now. They turned up on the day. This meant sides were selected with less care as I handed out the bibs we used back then.
If sides were unbalanced switches were made at halftime to address it.
Cockney Terry was a big, uncompromising centre-back with a head of flowing blond hair. He had played pretty well every week since joining us. But on this particular summer’s day in 2018 his team were losing 7-0 at half-time, so he was swapped along with Steve Prince, with the opposition’s best player, Martyn. The final score was 7-7.
Definetly the proverbial game of two halves. It meant that Martyn’s teams scored 14 goals without reply. Whilst, conversely, Steve Prince and Terry played a match in which their teams scored sod all and conceded 14.
Steve Prince still laughs about it to this very day. However, Terry didn’t find it amusing and never played again.
Twice over the next year, I bumped into him in the street. He was noticeably bereft of the bravado that had once characterised him. I am no expert but as far as being a footballer was concerned he looked a broken man.
He was friendly but stated that he now played tennis instead to keep fit. Sound reasoning I figured, as the heaviest defeat he will encounter in tennis would be 0-6, 0-6. instead of those two infamous halves of football 0-7, 0-7.
Jonny Morgan Humour Sampler 